LINEAGE
Timeless wisdom lived through fatherhood
DAILY PRACTICE
ORENDA
A Spirit Grows Strong By Living
Story
The first day I dropped my daughter off at preschool, I almost didn't make it to the car.
She had been fine in the morning. Excited even, picking out her backpack, talking about the swings on the playground.
The moment we walked through that door and she realized I was actually going to leave something in her face changed completely.
She grabbed my leg. Wouldn't let go. Started crying in a way I had never heard before (a crying that comes from somewhere deeper).
The teacher gently peeled her hands off mine. Told me, kindly, that I should go now, quickly.
I walked out to the parking lot and sat in my car. Heart pounding like I had done something wrong. Like I had abandoned her. Every instinct in my body was screaming to go back in, pick her up, take her home where she'd be safe with me.
Among the Iroquois people (Native American), there is a word Orenda that describes a person's individual spirit, the inner force of a human being that grows stronger specifically through lived experience. Not given whole. Built, slowly, every time a person moves through something and discovers on the other side that they survived it.
I picked her up that afternoon. She ran to me grinning, covered in paint, already telling me about a friend she'd made. What I understood later is that the hardest part of that morning wasn't really about her. It was about the part of me that wanted to protect her from a feeling she actually needed to move through to discover she could.
Shift
Your child's spirit doesn't grow by being protected from everything. It grows by discovering, again and again, and that you always come back.
Action (Today, With Your Children)
The next time your children faces something that scares them: a new place, a goodbye, an unfamiliar moment resist the urge to remove the fear for them.
Get low. Look at them. Say only: "I know this is hard. I will come back. You can do this."
Then, let the moment unfold without rescuing them from it.
A Spirit Grows Strong By Living
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